Commencement Address by Dr. Balbina Mesue on May 2008 Graduation and Prize Award Ceremonies in GHS Nyasoso.
Graduating into a Successful Life
(A Paper presented on the occasion of the Graduation / Prize – award ceremony in GHS Nyasoso on 24th May 2008)
This presentation is done to help stimulate your minds and to set you thinking not only about your present success but your success into adult life. Some people go on through secondary / high school successfully while others drop out on the way. The question is – where do you want to belong? With those who have gone through and come out successfully or with those who dropped out and stayed down there?
So far your education has been done in stages. The main purpose of primary education was to give you a basis for education in general – a herald to learning on another level. In secondary / high school the emphasis changes. There is so much to learn that you have to be offered, and to accept, what ever most people can agree on as a fact – and this is where your teacher comes in. He chooses, interprets these facts and comes out with sensible explanations so that you don’t feel terribly puzzled about them. Teachers also act as a model of what you expect to be when you leave school. “Children”, it is said, “have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them”. Teachers therefore do their very best not only to be heard but to set good standards for you to imitate.
Apart from taking your studies seriously (and this is mandatory) so that you can succeed, many other options count, like developing your talents in a safe and caring environment like Nyasoso. The paradox of education is precisely this; that as one begins to learn and become conscious one begins to examine the society in which he/she is being educated and tries to make that society better than he met it. You can make your present society better by exploring the options that are available to you in your school – in both the curricular and extra curricular activities beginning with the very basic activities like joining the school’s sport teams, playing in the school band, taking the lead in a school play, or writing in a school magazine. Yes, I mean writing, because even though we are brought up in a society where very few want to read what you have written, you still have to cultivate the talent if you don’t have one or develop it if you’ve got one. You have to strive to develop an independent mind although it is nearly impossible to become an educated person in a society so distrustful of the independent mind. Writing should give you the independence and the experience you need in life. Experience, it is said, is a private and a very largely speechless affair. Something no one can take from you.
To succeed in life you should try as much as possible to develop your talents. Every person has specific gifts, talents and strengths. William Mathew, a writer, said “one well-cultivated talent, deepened and enlarged is worth a 100 shallow faculties.” When you graduate from here try as much as possible to do what your heart tells you. Deep down inside you, if you are a musician, make music, if you are a footballer, play football, if you are a teacher, teach and if you happen to become a street sweeper, (which I don’t hope for), then sweep them properly. Do the best with whatever you are doing. The hardest battle you will face in adult life and never stop fighting is to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you someone else. The easiest thing to be in the world is you and the most difficult to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position. Some of the most discontented people you know in life are those who are trying to do something they are not supposed to do. To succeed in life, dare to be yourself. The former US president Abraham Lincoln said” whatever you are, be a good one”! A great artist wrote this “my mother said to me “if you become a soldier, you will become a general, and if you become a monk you will end up as a Pope.” Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso!” Resolve to be yourself, always!!
Nurture your talent for writing if you have the gift or cultivate one if you haven’t. The greatest significance of the present student generation is that it is through them that the point of view of the subjugated is finally and inexorably being expressed. Writing helps in another domain. With enough practice it can lure you into a profession. Of course, the price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an immediate knowledge of its ugly side. However, when you discover the ugly side to a chosen profession try not to quit. Storms, they say, come for a reason, but they also come for a season. If you discover the reason, you can grow wiser and when you outlast the season, you grow stronger. You never accomplish anything worthwhile in life if you quit because only losers quit.
Another successful link into the future will be to start thinking about a future career. Do you feel as if there is a huge gap between you and your future career destination? Then you have to overcome the fear of making a decision. You probably feel secure now because your decisions are still made for you by your parents and teachers. How do you overcome the fear of starting when you need to make your own decisions? You reach big goals by taking smaller steps! Edmund Burke, a British statesman and philosopher once said, “Nobody makes the greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little”. If you don’t decide what is important in your life, someone else will decide it for you. A wise person makes his own decisions; an ignorant one follows public opinion. While it is tempting to think that the amount of time required is still too long, those days and years will pass and pass quickly. When the time comes, try to fight fear. Fear, is a poor chisel to carve out your tomorrows. If you are looking at your future from a position of fear, then your view is inaccurate and distorted. It is never safe to look into the future with the eyes of fear. One of the greatest discoveries you can make in life is to find out that you can do what you were afraid you couldn’t do. Try to conquer fear. Don’t put water into your own boat. The storms of life will put enough in on their own. Trust yourself and God and take the first step when the time comes for you to make a decision.
In trusting yourself you have to overcome life-limiting thoughts. What do I mean by life-limiting thoughts? They are those thoughts that squash your self-esteem. Self-esteem has to come from “self”. That is why it is difficult to believe the good things people say about you when you can’t see them in yourself. Labels tend to stick. When we are young and our parents and teachers say things like “he’ll never be smart”, “she will never get far in school” “he is so slow” we tend to carry those life-limiting thoughts around for the rest of our lives. Fortunately, you alone can know your potentials. Others can stop you temporarily, but you are the only one who can do it permanently. There are thousands to prophesy failure for you! So buckle up, push up your shirtsleeves and tackle that thing that “cannot be done” and you will do it. The bookends of success are commitment and consistency. Without commitment you will never start. Without consistency you will never finish. Getting started is the hardest part.
In future, think big. Go farther than you can see. Dare to think unthinkable thoughts and dare to see where no one is looking. Like they say if the shoe fits, do not wear it – you are not allowing room for growth. Successful people know about the ineffectiveness of “living within your means”. Actually, “means” means “average” and when you decide to live within your means, you have decided to live an average life. Do this: know your limits – your means, then ignore them and forge ahead. Act bigger, believe larger and associate higher. Your outlook in life determines your outcome. So make your plans BIG. But in everything you do put God first.
In your adult life you will find that the road to success is always under construction and success and growth are unlikely if you always do things the same way you have always done. Can you count how many people you know who are literally on the same place today as they were 5years ago? They still have the same problems, the same alibis, the same opportunities. They are standing still! You have enough room to grow, to learn and to improve. Try to learn from everyone. From one person learn what to do and from another learn what not to do. You can learn more from a wise man when he is wrong than from a fool who is right. Wise people sometimes change their minds, fools never do. It is a sign of strength to make changes when necessary. Changes come with learning and learning goes with reading. Only hungry minds can grow so cultivate the habit of reading. W. Fusselman said “today a reader, tomorrow a leader”. It’s fun to keep reading. Reading leads to learning and learning brings life into your life!
For you to succeed in life there is need for you to communicate. Communication makes the world go round. Being able to communicate effectively is what gets you through each day, both now and in your professional life. Communication is very important if things need to work effectively. A man was walking down the street when he saw another man struggling with a machine in the doorway of his home. He volunteered to help and the owner was very happy. After several minutes of fruitless struggle the man said to the owner “we’ll never get this machine in there” to which the owner replied in amazement “in”? I’m trying to get it out!! There was no communication between the two people from the beginning. Your success in life depends on your ability to communicate effectively.
Another chance for you to succeed in life is to invest in relationships: Being connected to others is one of life’s greatest joys and so life’s best comes when we invest in solid relationships. Some of the most lasting relationships are the ones that are formed while we are still in school. Natural talent, intelligence, a wonderful education – none of these guarantees success. You don’t win fame, recognition or advancement just because you think you deserve it. Someone else has to think so too. An old adage says: “if you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but when you associate with eagles, you will learn how to fly to great heights”! Think! You become like those with whom you associate closely – for the good or the bad! Anytime you tolerate mediocrity in others it increases your own mediocrity. Like it is said, “if you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas!” The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. So start investing in solid relationships because you will need real friends to celebrate your life’s achievements.
Talking about life’s achievements, repeating the same lessons over and over means you are not learning enough. Study those who have succeeded where you want to succeed, in order to know what to do. Someone once said “learn from the mistakes of others; you will never live long enough to make them all yourself”. To climb to a successful height some of these guidelines may be useful
Don’t shrink away from the people whose experience and expertise are greater than your own. We all struggle in certain areas but if you shrink away, your insecurity may be misinterpreted as arrogance.
Don’t try to impress people by seeking to be their intellectual equal. If you find yourself in a discussion that intimidates you, listen carefully and ask questions. Talk only about what you know and listen attentively to what you don’t.
Don’t come to class unless you have done your home work. And by class here I mean every thing that is a challenge in your life. When you start going higher in life, prepare your speech, your wardrobe and your mind. Consult a trusted friend who understands where you are and where you need to go. If you can’t find one, then read until you grasp the basics. Thank God for the internet with its every available subject!
Talking about consulting a trusted friend; in life you will find that there are about three kinds of friends:
The users – those who reach for your strengths but carefully avoid your weaknesses. When trouble hits your life, the users distance themselves. Don’t hold them against it. They are just insecure and self-serving.
The cautious: these are in the majority in life. When you are in trouble, they will wait to see if you get out of it. And even then, they will keep their options open. Before they accept you, they will first check to see who else does.
The committed; an old adage says “in the good times our friends know us, in the bad times we know our friends” Even a handful of committed friends are good for you. Protect these relationships through life and they will help you reach your goal.
And if I’m not succeeding you may ask. Then think about this. There are about three success myths that ensnare us and which you will come in contact with as soon as you enter adult life.
We believe success is the result of opportunity. That is, being in the right place at the right time, so we wait. People who do nothing more than wait for opportunity are neither able to see it nor seize it when it comes.
We think that success comes from having leverage, that is, the ability to influence what people do. So we work for it by looking for ways of manipulating people.
We believe that success comes from connections, so we strive to make them. People who believe in connections think “they would have made it” if only they had been born into the right family or met the right person. Knowing good people has its rewards, but connections alone won’t improve your life if you are off track, that is, if you don’t work hard.
Hard work should however go hand in hand with integrity and character: Character is the real foundation of all worthwhile success. People who work hard on their image than on their integrity don’t understand when they suddenly fail in life. In ancient China the people wanted security against the barbaric hoards from the North, so they built The Great Wall. It was so high that nobody could climb over it and so thick that nobody could break it down. So they settled back to enjoy their security. During the first 100 years of the wall’s existence China was invaded three times. Not once did the enemy break down the wall or climb over it. Each time they bribed the gatekeeper and marched right through without a problem! The Chinese were so busy relying on their wall that they neglected to teach their children integrity!
Image, or the outward look, promises much and produces little, integrity never disappoints. Someone once asked the question “would your reputation recognize your character if they met in the dark?” Your integrity or lack of it always has consequences. Integrity should help you make the right choice in your life anytime. There should be no inconsistency between what you appear to be in life and what your family and friends know you are, whether in good times or bad times. Socrates the great philosopher once said, “the key to greatness is to be in reality what we appear to be”. He was right!
So graduates, the world is at your door steps. Successful people in life don’t necessarily have to be more educated. They just have to have enough enthusiasm. Fire cannot be made with dead embers, nor can enthusiasm be stirred by spiritless men. Enthusiasm in your daily work lightens effort and turns even labour into pleasant tasks and this includes preparing for your exams. Nothing in the world will help you succeed as the knowledge that there is a purpose in your life. Good luck!!
Prepared and presented by
Balbina Mesame Mesue Ebong (PhD)
NEXSAN 6th batch (Class of 1979)
(A Paper presented on the occasion of the Graduation / Prize – award ceremony in GHS Nyasoso on 24th May 2008)
This presentation is done to help stimulate your minds and to set you thinking not only about your present success but your success into adult life. Some people go on through secondary / high school successfully while others drop out on the way. The question is – where do you want to belong? With those who have gone through and come out successfully or with those who dropped out and stayed down there?
So far your education has been done in stages. The main purpose of primary education was to give you a basis for education in general – a herald to learning on another level. In secondary / high school the emphasis changes. There is so much to learn that you have to be offered, and to accept, what ever most people can agree on as a fact – and this is where your teacher comes in. He chooses, interprets these facts and comes out with sensible explanations so that you don’t feel terribly puzzled about them. Teachers also act as a model of what you expect to be when you leave school. “Children”, it is said, “have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them”. Teachers therefore do their very best not only to be heard but to set good standards for you to imitate.
Apart from taking your studies seriously (and this is mandatory) so that you can succeed, many other options count, like developing your talents in a safe and caring environment like Nyasoso. The paradox of education is precisely this; that as one begins to learn and become conscious one begins to examine the society in which he/she is being educated and tries to make that society better than he met it. You can make your present society better by exploring the options that are available to you in your school – in both the curricular and extra curricular activities beginning with the very basic activities like joining the school’s sport teams, playing in the school band, taking the lead in a school play, or writing in a school magazine. Yes, I mean writing, because even though we are brought up in a society where very few want to read what you have written, you still have to cultivate the talent if you don’t have one or develop it if you’ve got one. You have to strive to develop an independent mind although it is nearly impossible to become an educated person in a society so distrustful of the independent mind. Writing should give you the independence and the experience you need in life. Experience, it is said, is a private and a very largely speechless affair. Something no one can take from you.
To succeed in life you should try as much as possible to develop your talents. Every person has specific gifts, talents and strengths. William Mathew, a writer, said “one well-cultivated talent, deepened and enlarged is worth a 100 shallow faculties.” When you graduate from here try as much as possible to do what your heart tells you. Deep down inside you, if you are a musician, make music, if you are a footballer, play football, if you are a teacher, teach and if you happen to become a street sweeper, (which I don’t hope for), then sweep them properly. Do the best with whatever you are doing. The hardest battle you will face in adult life and never stop fighting is to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you someone else. The easiest thing to be in the world is you and the most difficult to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position. Some of the most discontented people you know in life are those who are trying to do something they are not supposed to do. To succeed in life, dare to be yourself. The former US president Abraham Lincoln said” whatever you are, be a good one”! A great artist wrote this “my mother said to me “if you become a soldier, you will become a general, and if you become a monk you will end up as a Pope.” Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso!” Resolve to be yourself, always!!
Nurture your talent for writing if you have the gift or cultivate one if you haven’t. The greatest significance of the present student generation is that it is through them that the point of view of the subjugated is finally and inexorably being expressed. Writing helps in another domain. With enough practice it can lure you into a profession. Of course, the price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an immediate knowledge of its ugly side. However, when you discover the ugly side to a chosen profession try not to quit. Storms, they say, come for a reason, but they also come for a season. If you discover the reason, you can grow wiser and when you outlast the season, you grow stronger. You never accomplish anything worthwhile in life if you quit because only losers quit.
Another successful link into the future will be to start thinking about a future career. Do you feel as if there is a huge gap between you and your future career destination? Then you have to overcome the fear of making a decision. You probably feel secure now because your decisions are still made for you by your parents and teachers. How do you overcome the fear of starting when you need to make your own decisions? You reach big goals by taking smaller steps! Edmund Burke, a British statesman and philosopher once said, “Nobody makes the greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little”. If you don’t decide what is important in your life, someone else will decide it for you. A wise person makes his own decisions; an ignorant one follows public opinion. While it is tempting to think that the amount of time required is still too long, those days and years will pass and pass quickly. When the time comes, try to fight fear. Fear, is a poor chisel to carve out your tomorrows. If you are looking at your future from a position of fear, then your view is inaccurate and distorted. It is never safe to look into the future with the eyes of fear. One of the greatest discoveries you can make in life is to find out that you can do what you were afraid you couldn’t do. Try to conquer fear. Don’t put water into your own boat. The storms of life will put enough in on their own. Trust yourself and God and take the first step when the time comes for you to make a decision.
In trusting yourself you have to overcome life-limiting thoughts. What do I mean by life-limiting thoughts? They are those thoughts that squash your self-esteem. Self-esteem has to come from “self”. That is why it is difficult to believe the good things people say about you when you can’t see them in yourself. Labels tend to stick. When we are young and our parents and teachers say things like “he’ll never be smart”, “she will never get far in school” “he is so slow” we tend to carry those life-limiting thoughts around for the rest of our lives. Fortunately, you alone can know your potentials. Others can stop you temporarily, but you are the only one who can do it permanently. There are thousands to prophesy failure for you! So buckle up, push up your shirtsleeves and tackle that thing that “cannot be done” and you will do it. The bookends of success are commitment and consistency. Without commitment you will never start. Without consistency you will never finish. Getting started is the hardest part.
In future, think big. Go farther than you can see. Dare to think unthinkable thoughts and dare to see where no one is looking. Like they say if the shoe fits, do not wear it – you are not allowing room for growth. Successful people know about the ineffectiveness of “living within your means”. Actually, “means” means “average” and when you decide to live within your means, you have decided to live an average life. Do this: know your limits – your means, then ignore them and forge ahead. Act bigger, believe larger and associate higher. Your outlook in life determines your outcome. So make your plans BIG. But in everything you do put God first.
In your adult life you will find that the road to success is always under construction and success and growth are unlikely if you always do things the same way you have always done. Can you count how many people you know who are literally on the same place today as they were 5years ago? They still have the same problems, the same alibis, the same opportunities. They are standing still! You have enough room to grow, to learn and to improve. Try to learn from everyone. From one person learn what to do and from another learn what not to do. You can learn more from a wise man when he is wrong than from a fool who is right. Wise people sometimes change their minds, fools never do. It is a sign of strength to make changes when necessary. Changes come with learning and learning goes with reading. Only hungry minds can grow so cultivate the habit of reading. W. Fusselman said “today a reader, tomorrow a leader”. It’s fun to keep reading. Reading leads to learning and learning brings life into your life!
For you to succeed in life there is need for you to communicate. Communication makes the world go round. Being able to communicate effectively is what gets you through each day, both now and in your professional life. Communication is very important if things need to work effectively. A man was walking down the street when he saw another man struggling with a machine in the doorway of his home. He volunteered to help and the owner was very happy. After several minutes of fruitless struggle the man said to the owner “we’ll never get this machine in there” to which the owner replied in amazement “in”? I’m trying to get it out!! There was no communication between the two people from the beginning. Your success in life depends on your ability to communicate effectively.
Another chance for you to succeed in life is to invest in relationships: Being connected to others is one of life’s greatest joys and so life’s best comes when we invest in solid relationships. Some of the most lasting relationships are the ones that are formed while we are still in school. Natural talent, intelligence, a wonderful education – none of these guarantees success. You don’t win fame, recognition or advancement just because you think you deserve it. Someone else has to think so too. An old adage says: “if you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but when you associate with eagles, you will learn how to fly to great heights”! Think! You become like those with whom you associate closely – for the good or the bad! Anytime you tolerate mediocrity in others it increases your own mediocrity. Like it is said, “if you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas!” The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. So start investing in solid relationships because you will need real friends to celebrate your life’s achievements.
Talking about life’s achievements, repeating the same lessons over and over means you are not learning enough. Study those who have succeeded where you want to succeed, in order to know what to do. Someone once said “learn from the mistakes of others; you will never live long enough to make them all yourself”. To climb to a successful height some of these guidelines may be useful
Don’t shrink away from the people whose experience and expertise are greater than your own. We all struggle in certain areas but if you shrink away, your insecurity may be misinterpreted as arrogance.
Don’t try to impress people by seeking to be their intellectual equal. If you find yourself in a discussion that intimidates you, listen carefully and ask questions. Talk only about what you know and listen attentively to what you don’t.
Don’t come to class unless you have done your home work. And by class here I mean every thing that is a challenge in your life. When you start going higher in life, prepare your speech, your wardrobe and your mind. Consult a trusted friend who understands where you are and where you need to go. If you can’t find one, then read until you grasp the basics. Thank God for the internet with its every available subject!
Talking about consulting a trusted friend; in life you will find that there are about three kinds of friends:
The users – those who reach for your strengths but carefully avoid your weaknesses. When trouble hits your life, the users distance themselves. Don’t hold them against it. They are just insecure and self-serving.
The cautious: these are in the majority in life. When you are in trouble, they will wait to see if you get out of it. And even then, they will keep their options open. Before they accept you, they will first check to see who else does.
The committed; an old adage says “in the good times our friends know us, in the bad times we know our friends” Even a handful of committed friends are good for you. Protect these relationships through life and they will help you reach your goal.
And if I’m not succeeding you may ask. Then think about this. There are about three success myths that ensnare us and which you will come in contact with as soon as you enter adult life.
We believe success is the result of opportunity. That is, being in the right place at the right time, so we wait. People who do nothing more than wait for opportunity are neither able to see it nor seize it when it comes.
We think that success comes from having leverage, that is, the ability to influence what people do. So we work for it by looking for ways of manipulating people.
We believe that success comes from connections, so we strive to make them. People who believe in connections think “they would have made it” if only they had been born into the right family or met the right person. Knowing good people has its rewards, but connections alone won’t improve your life if you are off track, that is, if you don’t work hard.
Hard work should however go hand in hand with integrity and character: Character is the real foundation of all worthwhile success. People who work hard on their image than on their integrity don’t understand when they suddenly fail in life. In ancient China the people wanted security against the barbaric hoards from the North, so they built The Great Wall. It was so high that nobody could climb over it and so thick that nobody could break it down. So they settled back to enjoy their security. During the first 100 years of the wall’s existence China was invaded three times. Not once did the enemy break down the wall or climb over it. Each time they bribed the gatekeeper and marched right through without a problem! The Chinese were so busy relying on their wall that they neglected to teach their children integrity!
Image, or the outward look, promises much and produces little, integrity never disappoints. Someone once asked the question “would your reputation recognize your character if they met in the dark?” Your integrity or lack of it always has consequences. Integrity should help you make the right choice in your life anytime. There should be no inconsistency between what you appear to be in life and what your family and friends know you are, whether in good times or bad times. Socrates the great philosopher once said, “the key to greatness is to be in reality what we appear to be”. He was right!
So graduates, the world is at your door steps. Successful people in life don’t necessarily have to be more educated. They just have to have enough enthusiasm. Fire cannot be made with dead embers, nor can enthusiasm be stirred by spiritless men. Enthusiasm in your daily work lightens effort and turns even labour into pleasant tasks and this includes preparing for your exams. Nothing in the world will help you succeed as the knowledge that there is a purpose in your life. Good luck!!
Prepared and presented by
Balbina Mesame Mesue Ebong (PhD)
NEXSAN 6th batch (Class of 1979)
Comments
Post a Comment